Why Self-Love is Essential for Students in Higher Education

Are you tired of hearing, “These are the best years of your life”, while feeling that reality is far from this ideal? Watching people living a perfect life on social media while you grapple with the fear of falling behind. The relentless pressure to secure that internship and achieve the highest package can feel like an unending race. Add to that the strain from friendships and relationships, self-doubt creeping in during sleepless nights, when the world is asleep, and the persistent voice asking,  “Am I enough? Am I doing this right?”

Yes, it is easy to fall into the trap of comparison, questioning and seek answers to your question externally. But what if the answer to this chaos is not out there, but within you. The power of self-love can be your anchor in this storm, guiding you with courage and clarity. Self-love is not an inherent trait but a skill that can be cultivated and nurtured.

And this is where your story changes. But first let’s know what self-love truly means?

Self-love is recognizing, knowing and appreciating your worth. It involves treating yourself with compassion, acknowledging your capabilities, and respecting yourself in the same way you would respect others. Closely tied to self-esteem, self-love is the foundation for emotional strength and resilience. And the first step towards self-love is self-acceptance.

Self-acceptance: The First Step

Before you can truly love yourself, you must first accept yourself. You have to:

Embrace Yourself: No human is perfect and that’s what makes us human. Embrace your shortcomings, your flaws, because they are a part of you. Learn to accept them and free yourself.

Be Kind to Yourself: You would not speak harshly to a friend if he commits a mistake. Be your own friend. Be kind to yourself.

Recognize your strengths: Identify your strengths. It could be anything, your creativity, kindness, honesty.  These are your Unique Selling Points.

Discovering your USP

Your USP is what makes you you. It defines your essence. Identifying it can boost your confidence and help you see the value you bring to the world. Ask yourself these questions:

• What are my natural strengths?
• What do people appreciate the most about me?
• What makes me feel most like myself?

Once you recognize your USP, own it. Celebrate it. Use it to inspire and uplift others.

Self-love is not Narcissism

However, self-love must not be mistaken for narcissism. Narcissism involves excessive self-absorption, leading to obsession with oneself. Self-love is a positive trait, fostering positivity both for yourself and those around you. Self-love radiates and attracts positive energies. Narcissism can negatively impact mental health, while self-love promotes mental well-being.

A compelling statistic from Kristin Neff’s 2003 report, “Self-Compassion and Psychological Well-Being”, reveals that individuals with higher levels of self-compassion experience 33% lower levels of depression and anxiety compared to those with lower self-compassion.

But, as we have all heard the saying, “It is easier said than done.” Similarly,  it is easier to talk about self-love but it takes a great deal of courage and understanding of oneself to truly practise it. Many obstacles hinder students from embracing this transformative mindset.

Barriers to Self-Love Among Students

Self-criticism: Overanalyzing and critiquing yourself negatively for minor mistakes can hinder growth and lead to anxiety. Mistakes are a natural part of life and one should learn from them. For instance, if a project or startup idea does not succeed, what matters is that you tried. It is crucial to focus on the effort and lessons learned rather than dwelling on failure. Eventually, by practicing self-compassion, you can acknowledge yourself and reward yourself for all the hard work you put in, no matter the result.

Self-doubt: Self-doubt undermines self-worth and prevents you from reaching your potential.

When you find yourself at a backseat academically, professionally, in your friendships or relationships, which you were managing extremely well before, might be due to you taking a lot of stress, but this does not mean that you lack the power of managing these things, it’s just you are putting yourself through a loop of self-doubt where you are not putting enough trust in yourself. However, by fostering self-love, you can trust your abilities, appreciate your efforts, and understand that growth takes time.

Peer and Family Pressure: When you see your peers succeeding, landing jobs you aspire for, and performing better than you, it is natural to feel a pang or a sense of insecurity. It is important to remind yourself that everyone’s journey is unique. Everything happens at its own pace.  Pressure to make your parents happy, fulfill their dreams might take a mental toll on you, but remember parents never wish to see their child going through anxiety and depression, they want to see you happy. Make your parents your power and not the reason for your fear. Treat yourself with the kindness you deserve.

Emotional Instability: In this GenZ era, superficial relationships, toxic interactions, and long hours spent waiting for validation through text messages can lead to emotional instability. By prioritizing self-worth and valuing your time, you can create authentic connections and restore emotional balance, ultimately leading to healthier and authentic relationships.

Building Self-Love

To cultivate self-love, start with affirmations that reinforce your value and potential:

1. I am a dedicated and hardworking student.
2. I am confident in my academic abilities.
3. I am always open to learning and expanding my knowledge.
4. I am organized, efficient, and manage my time effectively.
5. I am surrounded by support and positivity in my academic journey.
6. I am capable even with my flaws!
7. I have my own definition of being beautiful!
8. I will not be too harsh on myself.

Alongside affirmations, practising spirituality, mindfulness, and a belief in a higher power can provide a deeper sense of purpose, helping you manifest self-love in your daily life.

The Biological Connection: Self-Love and Hormones

And, while these affirmations nurture the emotional strength of self-love, it’s fascinating to realise that this practice also has a profound impact on our biology. The feelings of compassion and self-acceptance are deeply connected to our body’s hormonal balance. 

Science reveals that self-love influences key hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins, which are often referred to as feel-good chemicals and play a vital role in our mental and emotional well-being.

How can these hormones and their regulation be considered to aid your practice of self love?

Dopamine: This is the Reward Hormone.Celebrating your small achievements and practicing self-care boosts dopamine, letting you feel motivation and a sense of accomplishment.

Oxytocin: Oxytocin is the Love Hormone. Building connections and showing kindness enhance feelings of love and bonding, promoting self-acceptance and warmth.

Serotonin: This is the Mood Stabilizer. Meditation, sunlight and spending time in nature stabilize your mood, helping you feel calm and centered.

Endorphins: Endorphins are the Natural Pain Killers. Physical activity, going to gym, and creative expression act as natural pain relievers, lifting your spirits and fostering emotional resilience.

So, when you incorporate these hormone-boosting activities into your routine, you nurture your mind and body, amplifying the practice of self-love in meaningful ways.

Self-love is not a luxury but a necessity, especially for students navigating the pressures of higher education. Now as we have explored the key points around self-love, it is essential to understand that self-love is a skill which can be learned through simple, constant activities. It is the key to a student’s mental well-being amidst all the pressure, stress and anxiety to promote growth, both personal and professional, and fostering meaningful bonds.